Great convo! I also remember feeling incredibly uncomfortable with people assuming Colton's sexuality simply because he was a virgin at 25—some people, regardless of sexuality, just don't have sex until later and that can be intentional or unintentional. Ultimately, I'm glad he's out now and seems freer.
On another note, the Netflix show makes me feel so uneasy. The concept of the show is fine, but the fact that it's him as the lead, is just tough for me with all the stuff with Cassie. Maybe the show will never make it to stream, but I guess only time will tell.
I really appreciated your discussion of the harm his Netflix series could cause Cassie. I'd add that it could harm other survivors too. I fear that it's revealing that this show, his first serial return to TV after the restraining order, seems like it will center just this one part of his story vs. elevating the voices of stalking and abuse survivors, which could have been a way to do reparations in public. Something like that could be done very poorly! Maybe it's better to go away for awhile if you're truly very sorry, as Claire said. But I think it's useful to imagine alternate versions of this unfolding reality, who would benefit from those, and why they aren't happening.
On a totally different note, his announcement has me mentally revisiting the etiquette hometown date with Hannah and how happy he seemed to be given rules to follow...Thank you for these audio chats!!
That's a really good point, LeAnne! Is there a way to use the platform that elevates those stories and doesn't create more trauma for Cassie? It seems really tricky to thread that needle, but maybe there are ways it could work.
Well? Did you watch it? Did you hate it as much as I did? As a long-time semi-closeted Bachelor fan (and longtime Claire and Emma listener), I couldn't NOT watch Colton Underwood's Netflix series. I kind of hoping that I would like the guy and feel empathy toward him by the end of the series. Episode six wrapped, and I was like, "Nope. I like him even less." I'm bothered by his TV show and the messages it sends. When your ex gets a restraining order against you, it is not OK to talk about her in six episodes of a TV show. When you stalk and threaten someone, it is not OK to use being a closeted white gay Christian athlete as a way to justify making bad choices. Furthermore, it is not OK that he manipulated his friends and family into being filmed while he revealed his secret. Talk about controlling a narrative and sending the wrong message to young people who might struggle with something similar. I am not in the LGBTQ community, so I can't relate to his story from that perspective. But I did think about all the times I had to have difficult conversations with my mom, and how very different they'd have gone if she'd been on camera. All negative criticisms aside, I am grateful that the filmmakers showed another side to Christianity that is welcoming, accepting and open. I wanted to know more about the people in that group. I found them to be relatable and real. I can't say the same for "reality" star Colton. I can see why his nickname was Disney. If you decide not to do a podcast episode about his show, I can 100% understand. At the same time, I feel like you lend a very important voice to these types of topics, so I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for all you do.
Great convo! I also remember feeling incredibly uncomfortable with people assuming Colton's sexuality simply because he was a virgin at 25—some people, regardless of sexuality, just don't have sex until later and that can be intentional or unintentional. Ultimately, I'm glad he's out now and seems freer.
On another note, the Netflix show makes me feel so uneasy. The concept of the show is fine, but the fact that it's him as the lead, is just tough for me with all the stuff with Cassie. Maybe the show will never make it to stream, but I guess only time will tell.
I really appreciated your discussion of the harm his Netflix series could cause Cassie. I'd add that it could harm other survivors too. I fear that it's revealing that this show, his first serial return to TV after the restraining order, seems like it will center just this one part of his story vs. elevating the voices of stalking and abuse survivors, which could have been a way to do reparations in public. Something like that could be done very poorly! Maybe it's better to go away for awhile if you're truly very sorry, as Claire said. But I think it's useful to imagine alternate versions of this unfolding reality, who would benefit from those, and why they aren't happening.
On a totally different note, his announcement has me mentally revisiting the etiquette hometown date with Hannah and how happy he seemed to be given rules to follow...Thank you for these audio chats!!
That's a really good point, LeAnne! Is there a way to use the platform that elevates those stories and doesn't create more trauma for Cassie? It seems really tricky to thread that needle, but maybe there are ways it could work.
Well? Did you watch it? Did you hate it as much as I did? As a long-time semi-closeted Bachelor fan (and longtime Claire and Emma listener), I couldn't NOT watch Colton Underwood's Netflix series. I kind of hoping that I would like the guy and feel empathy toward him by the end of the series. Episode six wrapped, and I was like, "Nope. I like him even less." I'm bothered by his TV show and the messages it sends. When your ex gets a restraining order against you, it is not OK to talk about her in six episodes of a TV show. When you stalk and threaten someone, it is not OK to use being a closeted white gay Christian athlete as a way to justify making bad choices. Furthermore, it is not OK that he manipulated his friends and family into being filmed while he revealed his secret. Talk about controlling a narrative and sending the wrong message to young people who might struggle with something similar. I am not in the LGBTQ community, so I can't relate to his story from that perspective. But I did think about all the times I had to have difficult conversations with my mom, and how very different they'd have gone if she'd been on camera. All negative criticisms aside, I am grateful that the filmmakers showed another side to Christianity that is welcoming, accepting and open. I wanted to know more about the people in that group. I found them to be relatable and real. I can't say the same for "reality" star Colton. I can see why his nickname was Disney. If you decide not to do a podcast episode about his show, I can 100% understand. At the same time, I feel like you lend a very important voice to these types of topics, so I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for all you do.
It's a 'she-man' *crying laughing*