As someone with a number of adopted children/adults in their extended family, I’m curious about egg freezing for those ambivalent about having children. If you’re ambivalent about having children, why is it so important that they be biologically related? I understand adoption isn’t for everyone and it certainly has its own challenging process, but it’s a question I think should be considered more.
I also would have liked at least of a little discussion of the criticisms of the egg freezing industry. There is a lot of criticism that they use misleading statistics and marketing to increase profits. They make it sound like eggs are barely viable over 35 and the situation is fraught with risk. You mentioned how emotionally affecting the various test results can be. It seems like this is part of a sales tactic as much as it is about providing important medical information.
All that being said, I still love listening to you two talk about more than just Bachelor :-D
Thanks for your comment! That's a really interesting point about the emotional effects of the tests as a sales tactic. I think that's part and parcel with what we were trying to get at -- this procedure being a consumer good is inherent to how this country approaches both healthcare generally and reproductive health specifically, and it's deeply problematic for women having their actual health needs addressed. I appreciate you surfacing this line of criticism of the industry.
Personally I am uncomfortable telling women who want to get pregnant now or in the future that they should simply adopt instead. Adoption is its own journey that I would hope people enter with joy and intention, not because they should only get to conceive if they do so under certain conditions (at a certain age, through a certain process, etc.), but you're right that it is an equally valid way of becoming a parent and is worthy of discussion.
Completely agree here that testing/egg freezing as a consumer product, especially in the context of influencer culture, is a whole other interesting rabbit hole. While I appreciate the visibility of the topic and being given some options to understand my fertility health, the whole thing feels, at least in part, like I'm being fed fears that I didn't previously have in order to profit off of them. Not to mention that the methods used by testing companies are fairly questionable (although that's due in large part to lack of historical investment in studying women's health).
As someone who follows my fair share of Bachelor girls, fertility testing is the first time that I felt myself actively being pulled in by influencer messaging - to the point of real anxiety and tearful conversations. Shout out to my supportive partner and close physician friends for helping me through that. Obviously the real solution here is comprehensive healthcare and better understanding of reproductive health but....
Absolutely. Every woman should have access to fertility treatments if they want them and have every right to make their own choices on their parenting journey. I would never presume to tell anyone they “should” adopt.
When I was turning 30 and felt some kind of way about it, an older good friend said that when she was turning 30, she felt glad that she'd survived to that age with her personality intact when so many forces in society conspired to make her lose her verve, her love of art, her humanity. This conversation really helped me enter the new decade with a different mindset. I know you're both past this milestone too, but your conversation made me think of it and want to share it. Thanks again for another great talk :)
That is an inspiring perspective, and I hope that our personalities have remained intact too (sometimes it's tempting to think society has won, especially deep in the throes of new motherhood). Thanks for sharing!
Hello Claire and Emma! Have y’all ever read the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky about the invisible load of motherhood? I was considering buying it to help solve some stress in my relationship with my husband but then I read a few paragraphs on Amazon and had to pause - I wonder what you two would think of Rodsky’s thesis?? Would be a great addition to this motherhood series!
As someone with a number of adopted children/adults in their extended family, I’m curious about egg freezing for those ambivalent about having children. If you’re ambivalent about having children, why is it so important that they be biologically related? I understand adoption isn’t for everyone and it certainly has its own challenging process, but it’s a question I think should be considered more.
I also would have liked at least of a little discussion of the criticisms of the egg freezing industry. There is a lot of criticism that they use misleading statistics and marketing to increase profits. They make it sound like eggs are barely viable over 35 and the situation is fraught with risk. You mentioned how emotionally affecting the various test results can be. It seems like this is part of a sales tactic as much as it is about providing important medical information.
All that being said, I still love listening to you two talk about more than just Bachelor :-D
Thanks for your comment! That's a really interesting point about the emotional effects of the tests as a sales tactic. I think that's part and parcel with what we were trying to get at -- this procedure being a consumer good is inherent to how this country approaches both healthcare generally and reproductive health specifically, and it's deeply problematic for women having their actual health needs addressed. I appreciate you surfacing this line of criticism of the industry.
Personally I am uncomfortable telling women who want to get pregnant now or in the future that they should simply adopt instead. Adoption is its own journey that I would hope people enter with joy and intention, not because they should only get to conceive if they do so under certain conditions (at a certain age, through a certain process, etc.), but you're right that it is an equally valid way of becoming a parent and is worthy of discussion.
Completely agree here that testing/egg freezing as a consumer product, especially in the context of influencer culture, is a whole other interesting rabbit hole. While I appreciate the visibility of the topic and being given some options to understand my fertility health, the whole thing feels, at least in part, like I'm being fed fears that I didn't previously have in order to profit off of them. Not to mention that the methods used by testing companies are fairly questionable (although that's due in large part to lack of historical investment in studying women's health).
As someone who follows my fair share of Bachelor girls, fertility testing is the first time that I felt myself actively being pulled in by influencer messaging - to the point of real anxiety and tearful conversations. Shout out to my supportive partner and close physician friends for helping me through that. Obviously the real solution here is comprehensive healthcare and better understanding of reproductive health but....
Absolutely. Every woman should have access to fertility treatments if they want them and have every right to make their own choices on their parenting journey. I would never presume to tell anyone they “should” adopt.
When I was turning 30 and felt some kind of way about it, an older good friend said that when she was turning 30, she felt glad that she'd survived to that age with her personality intact when so many forces in society conspired to make her lose her verve, her love of art, her humanity. This conversation really helped me enter the new decade with a different mindset. I know you're both past this milestone too, but your conversation made me think of it and want to share it. Thanks again for another great talk :)
That is an inspiring perspective, and I hope that our personalities have remained intact too (sometimes it's tempting to think society has won, especially deep in the throes of new motherhood). Thanks for sharing!
Hello Claire and Emma! Have y’all ever read the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky about the invisible load of motherhood? I was considering buying it to help solve some stress in my relationship with my husband but then I read a few paragraphs on Amazon and had to pause - I wonder what you two would think of Rodsky’s thesis?? Would be a great addition to this motherhood series!
I haven't read it! I think I have it somewhere around ... or used to. I'm curious what gave you pause about her thesis, so I'll have to look!