I honestly can’t read all of the articles on this side and that about babies and whether they are screaming piles of party fouls or whatever. I scan through them looking for older parents, older kids. As always: very little representation. The articles all seem to focus on the 0-5 age range, mostly 0-3. Those years are the worst! They are incredibly demanding on parents and they happen when parents don’t know what the fuck they’re doing, are likely broke, and mostly obsessed with these new creatures. But beyond that: they are temporary. Children grow up, and become their own little beings. I personally have found that as my children get older, I return more and more to my core self, the me both with and without these small needy things attached to me.
I have 3 kids: a 21-year old bonus kid, 10-year old, and 4-year old. And yeah, there are parents who are really into sports ball or whatever, but most of us get decidedly more time - and money - once our kids are in public school. (Thank you universal TK, California!!) I’m not sitting around and talking about my 10-year old’s bowel movements or dragging friends to the park. We get tired of our new toys and I personally need need need my friends.
Thank you for having these conversations, and recognizing that a friendship post kids is no more static than before. I wish there were women having these conversations when I was in my 30’s. I wish there were women having conversations about it who are in their 40’s.
As someone in the 0-3 range trenches, thank you for posting this! It can be all consuming and so disorienting and I am hoping to find my way back to myself...
I honestly can’t read all of the articles on this side and that about babies and whether they are screaming piles of party fouls or whatever. I scan through them looking for older parents, older kids. As always: very little representation. The articles all seem to focus on the 0-5 age range, mostly 0-3. Those years are the worst! They are incredibly demanding on parents and they happen when parents don’t know what the fuck they’re doing, are likely broke, and mostly obsessed with these new creatures. But beyond that: they are temporary. Children grow up, and become their own little beings. I personally have found that as my children get older, I return more and more to my core self, the me both with and without these small needy things attached to me.
I have 3 kids: a 21-year old bonus kid, 10-year old, and 4-year old. And yeah, there are parents who are really into sports ball or whatever, but most of us get decidedly more time - and money - once our kids are in public school. (Thank you universal TK, California!!) I’m not sitting around and talking about my 10-year old’s bowel movements or dragging friends to the park. We get tired of our new toys and I personally need need need my friends.
Thank you for having these conversations, and recognizing that a friendship post kids is no more static than before. I wish there were women having these conversations when I was in my 30’s. I wish there were women having conversations about it who are in their 40’s.
As someone in the 0-3 range trenches, thank you for posting this! It can be all consuming and so disorienting and I am hoping to find my way back to myself...